I hadn't told my now-grown children about my relationship with R***** or about G****'s birth, not because I considered it a shameful matter but because I wanted to respect R*****'s privacy and because I thought explaining the matter might prove...complicated. Basically, I didn't want to get into it, and I didn't see any pressing reason to do it.
Now that Kathe and I are apparently parting ways, there is indeed a pressing reason.
The other day, one of my daughters called me from Texas and asked casually how we were doing. I felt I had little choice but to tell her all of it. I was sorry to dump it all on her that was, but there was, after all, a lot to tell, so I did.
I was encouraged by the fact that her first response to the information dump was to tell me that my first priority needed to be to be a good Daddy to Gideon. That is the response I would have wanted to hear from her, and I agree.
I also asked her to call her sister in Portland and ask her to call me. Instead, she called her sister and, without explaining why, urged her to visit Kathe, and she is in town now, and I'm very glad of that.
So, the girls know the story now, and the boys know most of it. Soon enough, everyone will know the whole story, and soon after they will all be sick of it, because while some of the story does not reflect well on me, I am not in the least ashamed of knowing R*****. Or G****.
//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Knowing what you should be ashamed of is half of a moral education."\\
UPDATE: At R*****'s request, I have deleted her name and our child's, since we will not be living together after all.
7 comments:
Yes, you are ashamed. Very ashamed of people you say you "love"!
You did not to mention, I believe, it was your choice to cut your child and LeAnne out of your life.
No, you are mistaken. I was put in a terrible, untenable position, where no matter what choice I made, I would have to break someone's heart.
Even within that parameter, I did not handle the matter as well as I would have wished, but I did what I was able to bring myself to do. The effort nearly killed me (very literally), but at least now it is over.
As for shame, no, am not the least ashamed of a woman whom I loved and will always love, and if it had been in my power to spare these two women any further pain, I woulod have done it, thought it cost me my life. That, alas, was not an option, never was.
Nor am I ashamed of that dear little boy, and I can only hope that I get to spend some time with him again, some day. I hope I can do him some good.
And no matter how happy I am with Kathe (and I hope to be happy with her, and make her happy), I will always carry the shadow of guilt and sorrow over what I could not do for that woman and that little boy.
One more thing: it was not my choice to cut them out of my life, it was hers.
Go on living in a dream world! She had another choice? I doubt it.
If this is an example of the man you are; you have nothing good to offer that boy.
...my first priority needed to be to be a good Daddy to Gideon...and I agree.
And this? Was only self-serving $%@& to make you look good?
No, given that I was, at that time, going to be living with the boy and his mother, that would have had to be my first priority. Since I am not, I will be unable to do so, and that is too bad for him and, frankly, for me also. But under present circumstances, there is nothing I can do about it.
Look, stranger, you know one of the parties to this story, but you don't know me, and frankly you don't seem to know much about what actually happened between us, so why don't you keep your ill-informed opinions to yourself?
He did what was right for him (see comments on other posting). ~LeAnne
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